... walang social life ...

"My feel for you is decaying in front of me / Like the carrion of a murdered prey"

- carrion, fiona apple

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Ano nga ba ang nagtutulak sa tao para pumatay? Poot? Salapi? Prinsipyo? Politika?

Doon din sa Maguindanao naging "landslide" ang pagkakapanalo ni Gloria Arroyo. Sa ilang presinto roon, wala ni isa mang boto si Fernando Poe Jr. Isipin mo: kahit isa, wala siyang nakuhang boto. Ang kapal ng mukha talaga nitong si Arroyo. Malaki ang utang na loob niya kay Ampatuan. Hello Garci?!

Ngayon naalala ko ang Jabidah massacre kung saan pinatay ng mga elemento ng Armed Forces of the Philippines ang 60 kataong Moro na kanilang nirekluta. Naalala ko ang Balangiga massacre kung saan pinatay ng mga tropang Amerikano ang halos tatlong libong sibilyan sa Balangiga, Samar dahil sa paghihiganti.

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darth_doom

How could something so simple turn out so epically stupid in the end. I guess that's what I get for... Ah whatever.

I'm no longer eating at Fish and Co, unless someone is paying that is.

Gonna go out again later to canvass some things for the tshirts. Finally, it's moving again. I'm no longer hoping we make it through the December deadline. Just get it done asap.

darth_doom

Mangaholix passed me by and I didn't even notice. Guess just as well, seeing that I couldn't get out of work to attend.

Oh wait, Sunday morning, I was out of the house early for a dota session with the hs guys.

FRAK!

Saturday morning I was nursing a limitbreak from Friday, darn New Moon for opening on a Friday instead of a Wedsneday.

DOUBLE FRAK!

It's my "weekend off" again. Played dota with the work gang just now before coming home. I guess I gotta get some sleep before I go back to Makati later this evening for another round with Trapo and his work guys. It's a week of Dota it seems. Might as well, not as if I'm doing anything special.

joycie

Dr. Ortill

Ganyan talaga kapag naka-anesthesia, nakakaramdam pero, hindi masakit.

And I was there, assisting in her lumpectomy, looking at bloody flesh, and inhaling the smoke from her cautery while my elbows were complaining from retracting, wishing that someone could inject me with just a vial of Lidocaine. Not from the physical pain but from the pointy feeling inside.

How avoidant.
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It's been 23 days in my rotation, and FINALLY I had been able to assist at a major o.r....an Appendectomy. I can still remember how it is done. I insisted on scrubbing in on this one, just to see their technique. Pretty cool. I wish I could do one.

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Can this be?




Our radiologists can't explain it. And my groupmate says, the child was not held by anyone while the x-ray was taken. Even so, it would not form a hand.. but will show the bones. (scary music here.)

darth_doom

I think its morbidly funny that at this specific point in my life, Lethal Weapon 4 would be playing on HBO, uttering a revision of Murtaugh's famous line that perfectly describes our situation.

We're too old for this shit.

It's not that really that of a coincidence, and I really don't believe a word of it, he's the one who keeps saying it over and over, but still, it's amusing.

joycie

Nothing makes a day faster than looking forward to something. And today, what put me through the first half of my day was the fact that me and my friends went out tonight.

This get together was for Joie. To cheer her up from her recent breakup after a 5 year relationship. We (Andrea, Andrew, King, Neli, Joie and I) met up at Rob and had dinner at Don Henrico's, remembering our clerkship experiences. That was the time when we were still students, and from there started comparing our internships at different hospitals. We had a hearty meal, and I felt at home, reconnecting with those I shared a wonderful 4 years of medicine proper with.

After that, we walked to a Karaoke Bar where we sang a mix of vengeful and sentimental songs for Joie. Some, for me. For them, too. I was tipsy and having so much fun, fun, fun, when..

He texted. He says he wants to die. He says I hurt him too much.

It's not the first time he's said that. He does it when I don't text or answer his calls or when I tell him that I don't feel the same. But now, I don't even know what I've done. I was always upfront and honest. And I did try to like him. I tried so hard, that I even DID like him. And he even thought I loved him back already. But it's not enough..

Because I knew the difference when I fell for somebody (who betrayed me instead). Argh. I am being played and twisted by fate.

It's good that work takes so much out of my mind. The brain can only do one thing at a time, and it helps to keep focus on what's in front.  In a few hours time, I'll be on track a 32 hour tour of duty, mending other people's bodies when I am so...broken inside.